Finally I’m free! Released from the shackles of my History A-Level. To mark my sad departure from my historical I bringeth thee this hotty, who I spent 2 hours writing about in beastly exam conditions. Hotty from History #30 - Mary Stuart (1542-1587) Mary Stuart, also known as Mary Queen of Scots (obviously stolen from Mary Portas), had probably the most dysfunctional life belonging to a British monarch ever. Born to Scottish and French royalty, Mary was married to the Dauphin of France, yet through his sudden and untimely death, she fled to Scotland, where her French mother, Mary of Guise, acted as regent for her daughter. She was known for her pursuit of merriment and sense of adventure, and she could perform feats of endurance on horseback, feats that would have killed an average man. An image of a queen riding a horse through the rugged Scottish highlands is supremely romantic, and thus also suggests she had excellent thighs. Her marriage to Lord Darnley was controversial, because it alarmed Elizabeth, as the marriage strengthened her claim to the English throne, also it has been said that Darnley was a raging homosexual, plagued with jealousy, and a drunk. When he suspected of an affair between his wife and her private secretary, David Rizzio, he brutally murdered Rizzio and his supporters in front of Mary. Poor Mary - yet in early 1567, Lord Darnely was found mysteriously strangled in his garden, his house blown to pieces by gunpowder. Fateful karma? Mary’s resulting life was rather dull, she never achieved real power, and spent most of her adult life in captivity after unsucessfully seeking refuge in England and after 9 years of house arrest, she was executed. End. Tom

Finally I’m free! Released from the shackles of my History A-Level. To mark my sad departure from my historical I bringeth thee this hotty, who I spent 2 hours writing about in beastly exam conditions.

Hotty from History #30 - Mary Stuart (1542-1587)

Mary Stuart, also known as Mary Queen of Scots (obviously stolen from Mary Portas), had probably the most dysfunctional life belonging to a British monarch ever. Born to Scottish and French royalty, Mary was married to the Dauphin of France, yet through his sudden and untimely death, she fled to Scotland, where her French mother, Mary of Guise, acted as regent for her daughter. She was known for her pursuit of merriment and sense of adventure, and she could perform feats of endurance on horseback, feats that would have killed an average man. An image of a queen riding a horse through the rugged Scottish highlands is supremely romantic, and thus also suggests she had excellent thighs.

Her marriage to Lord Darnley was controversial, because it alarmed Elizabeth, as the marriage strengthened her claim to the English throne, also it has been said that Darnley was a raging homosexual, plagued with jealousy, and a drunk. When he suspected of an affair between his wife and her private secretary, David Rizzio, he brutally murdered Rizzio and his supporters in front of Mary. Poor Mary - yet in early 1567, Lord Darnely was found mysteriously strangled in his garden, his house blown to pieces by gunpowder. Fateful karma?

Mary’s resulting life was rather dull, she never achieved real power, and spent most of her adult life in captivity after unsucessfully seeking refuge in England and after 9 years of house arrest, she was executed. End.

Tom

14 Notes

 Hotty from History #29 - Antonin Artaud (September 4, 1896 – March 4, 1948) It is hard to believe that such a pleasant and distinguished face belonged to a notorious madman who spent much of his life in asylums, directed people to poo on stage and died clutching a shoe. Antonin is perhaps best known for being a theatre practitioner but it is his writing which is truly spectacular. Reading it, you can see why people worried about his mental health. He did however have a perfectly good explanation for his insanity- “There is in every madman a misunderstood genius whose idea, shining in his head, frightened people, and for whom delirium was the only solution to the strangulation that life had prepared for him.” What I love about Artaud is that he excuses himself of all his sins by describing the waking world as hell. He’s not so terribly far off.    Antonin was basically a drug addict. This in itself isn’t attractive but he did have a pretty sound reason to be so: he wasn’t exactly a fan of everyday waking life. I think he was talking about the escape that drugs allowed him when he said “So long as we have failed to eliminate any of the causes of human despair, we do not have the right to try to eliminate those means by which man tries to cleanse himself of despair.” Pretty sound reasoning there, Artaud. Not sure it would sit very well with angry and concerned parents in this modern age, but it would be worth a try.   His dramatic Manifesto, Theatre of Cruelty, was a complete flop when it was originally released. This happens to a lot of great things: Van Gogh’s art, Withnail and I, that strange contraption they called ‘the flying machine’… It’s hardly a hugely popular theatrical discipline now, but it is believed that Artaud was the first practitioner to have theatre performed in the round. Artaud was simply seeking to rid audiences of the repressive effects of civilization and to liberate their instinctual energy, by using screams, pulsating lights and groans…if his theatre was so exciting, I imagine he must have been pretty damn interesting in the sack. Artaud eventually died of cancer. In his life, he had not been obsessed by suicide, although he did say that “each conversation with a psychiatrist…made me want to hang myself, realizing that I would not be able to cut his throat”. Oh, Artaud. He has an insight into literally everything one might want a hotty to know about. And, it would seem, Artaud did not have any particularly memorable love affairs: it is times like these that I wish I could go back in time and offer myself as a muse! Is that a little bit wrong? Probably. Oh well! Tragedy on the stage is no longer enough for me, I shall bring it into my own life Antonin Artaud. Madman, genius, and basically, incredibly attractive. -Georgia

 Hotty from History #29 - Antonin Artaud (September 4, 1896 – March 4, 1948)

It is hard to believe that such a pleasant and distinguished face belonged to a notorious madman who spent much of his life in asylums, directed people to poo on stage and died clutching a shoe.

  • Antonin is perhaps best known for being a theatre practitioner but it is his writing which is truly spectacular. Reading it, you can see why people worried about his mental health. He did however have a perfectly good explanation for his insanity- “There is in every madman a misunderstood genius whose idea, shining in his head, frightened people, and for whom delirium was the only solution to the strangulation that life had prepared for him.” What I love about Artaud is that he excuses himself of all his sins by describing the waking world as hell. He’s not so terribly far off. 

 

  • Antonin was basically a drug addict. This in itself isn’t attractive but he did have a pretty sound reason to be so: he wasn’t exactly a fan of everyday waking life. I think he was talking about the escape that drugs allowed him when he said “So long as we have failed to eliminate any of the causes of human despair, we do not have the right to try to eliminate those means by which man tries to cleanse himself of despair.” Pretty sound reasoning there, Artaud. Not sure it would sit very well with angry and concerned parents in this modern age, but it would be worth a try.  
  • His dramatic Manifesto, Theatre of Cruelty, was a complete flop when it was originally released. This happens to a lot of great things: Van Gogh’s art, Withnail and I, that strange contraption they called ‘the flying machine’… It’s hardly a hugely popular theatrical discipline now, but it is believed that Artaud was the first practitioner to have theatre performed in the round. Artaud was simply seeking to rid audiences of the repressive effects of civilization and to liberate their instinctual energy, by using screams, pulsating lights and groans…if his theatre was so exciting, I imagine he must have been pretty damn interesting in the sack.
  • Artaud eventually died of cancer. In his life, he had not been obsessed by suicide, although he did say that “each conversation with a psychiatrist…made me want to hang myself, realizing that I would not be able to cut his throat”. Oh, Artaud. He has an insight into literally everything one might want a hotty to know about. And, it would seem, Artaud did not have any particularly memorable love affairs: it is times like these that I wish I could go back in time and offer myself as a muse! Is that a little bit wrong? Probably. Oh well!

Tragedy on the stage is no longer enough for me, I shall bring it into my own life

  • Antonin Artaud. Madman, genius, and basically, incredibly attractive.

-Georgia

39 Notes

Hotties From History:

officially revision since 2009.

1 Notes

Hotty from History #28 Lord Alfred Bruce Douglas (22 October 1870 – 20 March 1945)Known far and wide as Bosie, this chap is long overdue for introduction into our hotty hall of fame. He was born into a wealthy but rather eccentric noble family. His uncle Lord James Douglas fell in love with his own twin sister, became an alcoholic when she married and eventually committed suicide. Other uncles included one who died while climbing the Matterhorn and another who became a priest. His aunt (the aforementioned twin sister) Lady Florence Douglas was a thoroughly good influence on young Bosie however, being a feminist, suffragette and war correspondent during the Boer War. She later wrote a novel about a woman elected into the House of Commons, by dressing as a man - this male role is based on Oscar Wilde. He attended University at Oxford, that wonderful British institution. However, he spent all his time writing for the college newspaper and editing racy novels, so dropped out without earning a degree. There is something about being a rebel that really appeals to us here at HFH. He was one of the many Bright Young Things from the late 19th Century who had a fluid sexuality. His own brother died in mysterious cicumstances after reputedly having an affair with the Prime Minister, Lord Roseberry. To appear “straight” to the public, many of these chaps and flopsies married, only to have illicit affairs with one another. Which I can only applaud. Frankly, he was a complete and utter cad, rogue and ruffian. Bosie and Oscar were in a constant cycle of messy break-up and passionate reconciliation, and all the while Bosie spent Wilde’s money on rent boys and gambling. When Wilde commissioned Bosie to translate his manuscript of Salome into English, Bosie’s french was so bad that poor Oscar had to translate the whole novel again himself, and the pair fell out when Bosie stubbornly refused to accept his efforts were so half-hearted that his version of Salome made little sense. Eventually Bosie was the weapon of Oscar’s downfall, by inciting a lawsuit between Oscar and his father, the Marquess of Queensberry. When Queensberry threatened to cut off Bosie’s allowance and inheritance, Bosie replied with a postcard saying only “what a funny little man you are”. He also refused to dispose of letters and photos of himself and Oscar, which were later used as evidence of Wilde’s homosexuality - Amazingly it wasn’t Queensberry who started the lawsuit, but Wilde (persuaded by Bosie) who had his father arrested for having the audacity of calling Wilde a homosexual. Thanks largely to Bosie’s carelessness, the trial changed course and Oscar was convicted of just that! So here’s to Lord Alfred “Bosie” Douglas - Muse to one of the foremost authors and poets, all-round git and total stunner - We at HFH salute you sir!-Sophie

Hotty from History #28 Lord Alfred Bruce Douglas (22 October 1870 – 20 March 1945)

Known far and wide as Bosie, this chap is long overdue for introduction into our hotty hall of fame.

  • He was born into a wealthy but rather eccentric noble family. His uncle Lord James Douglas fell in love with his own twin sister, became an alcoholic when she married and eventually committed suicide. Other uncles included one who died while climbing the Matterhorn and another who became a priest. His aunt (the aforementioned twin sister) Lady Florence Douglas was a thoroughly good influence on young Bosie however, being a feminist, suffragette and war correspondent during the Boer War. She later wrote a novel about a woman elected into the House of Commons, by dressing as a man - this male role is based on Oscar Wilde.
  • He attended University at Oxford, that wonderful British institution. However, he spent all his time writing for the college newspaper and editing racy novels, so dropped out without earning a degree. There is something about being a rebel that really appeals to us here at HFH.
  • He was one of the many Bright Young Things from the late 19th Century who had a fluid sexuality. His own brother died in mysterious cicumstances after reputedly having an affair with the Prime Minister, Lord Roseberry. To appear “straight” to the public, many of these chaps and flopsies married, only to have illicit affairs with one another. Which I can only applaud.
  • Frankly, he was a complete and utter cad, rogue and ruffian. Bosie and Oscar were in a constant cycle of messy break-up and passionate reconciliation, and all the while Bosie spent Wilde’s money on rent boys and gambling. When Wilde commissioned Bosie to translate his manuscript of Salome into English, Bosie’s french was so bad that poor Oscar had to translate the whole novel again himself, and the pair fell out when Bosie stubbornly refused to accept his efforts were so half-hearted that his version of Salome made little sense.
  • Eventually Bosie was the weapon of Oscar’s downfall, by inciting a lawsuit between Oscar and his father, the Marquess of Queensberry. When Queensberry threatened to cut off Bosie’s allowance and inheritance, Bosie replied with a postcard saying only “what a funny little man you are”. He also refused to dispose of letters and photos of himself and Oscar, which were later used as evidence of Wilde’s homosexuality -
  • Amazingly it wasn’t Queensberry who started the lawsuit, but Wilde (persuaded by Bosie) who had his father arrested for having the audacity of calling Wilde a homosexual. Thanks largely to Bosie’s carelessness, the trial changed course and Oscar was convicted of just that!

So here’s to Lord Alfred “Bosie” Douglas - Muse to one of the foremost authors and poets, all-round git and total stunner - We at HFH salute you sir!

-Sophie

67 Notes

Hotty from History #27  -Dora de Houghton Carrington (29 March 1893 – 11 March 1932) Dora was a talented painter who attended the Slade art school. She started a fashion at the Slade of wearing deeply unfashionable clothes and having pudding bowl haircuts. Despite this aesthetic mishap, she managed to engage in romantic liasions with a number of other painters. Artists Christopher Nevinson and Mark Gertler both fell in love with her, and although she behaved in a provocative manner she refused to choose between them or have a sexual relationship with either of them. A modern translation of this might be that she was an expert tease, for which I salute her. She was closely associated with the Bloomsbury group, and painted portraits of many members. She is also reputedly the basis for many characters in the literary legacy of the group, including Minette Darrington in D.H Lawrence’s Women in Love. Poor Carrington was doomed to fall in love with the homosexual writer Lytton Strachey. When he made a sexual pass at her, she retaliated by going into his room at night with the intention of cutting off his prized red beard. Instead, he woke up and she became suddenly enamoured of him. It is a well known and terribly sad fact that it is very easy to fall in love with brilliant gay men, only to have to resign to the fact that they could only ever love you as a friend.  Dora also had the tendency to fall in love with the same men as Scrachey. How frustrating!! However, it wasn’t all bad. She married one of Scrachey’s lovers, Ralph Partridge, and the three of them lived together in a hot tangle of bohemian limbs. The tortured hotty certainly endured a lot of emotional crap but at least she had access to the loins of two very fine and passionate men. She eventually embarked on an intense affair with writer Gerald Brenan. They enjoyed a lot of love making, but it was painful for both of them, particularly Gerald who fell for Dora and was most hurt by her Ménage à trois, and eventually it ended. She then fell for one of Scrachey’s ex lovers, Henrietta Bingham, a very striking and wealthy American, with whom she conducted an affair. Later she embarked on an affair with a Parisian model, novelist and former Slade art student Julia Scrachey- who also happened to be Lytton’s niece. It seems Dora thrived on complicated relationships! Both women were total hotties, so, I don’t blame her! Eventually, weeks before her thirty ninth birthday, Dora shot herself. Lytton had died of stomach cancer and it would seem that Dora couldn’t bear life without him. How terribly romantic and deeply tragic. Carrington was played by Emma Thompson in a film about her life. Emma Thompson is such a special sort of hotty, who is seductive because of her superior talent as well as her prescence on stage and screen, which seems to reflect the unique appeal of Dora. -Georgia

Hotty from History #27  -Dora de Houghton Carrington (29 March 1893 – 11 March 1932)

  • Dora was a talented painter who attended the Slade art school. She started a fashion at the Slade of wearing deeply unfashionable clothes and having pudding bowl haircuts. Despite this aesthetic mishap, she managed to engage in romantic liasions with a number of other painters. Artists Christopher Nevinson and Mark Gertler both fell in love with her, and although she behaved in a provocative manner she refused to choose between them or have a sexual relationship with either of them. A modern translation of this might be that she was an expert tease, for which I salute her.
  • She was closely associated with the Bloomsbury group, and painted portraits of many members. She is also reputedly the basis for many characters in the literary legacy of the group, including Minette Darrington in D.H Lawrence’s Women in Love.
  • Poor Carrington was doomed to fall in love with the homosexual writer Lytton Strachey. When he made a sexual pass at her, she retaliated by going into his room at night with the intention of cutting off his prized red beard. Instead, he woke up and she became suddenly enamoured of him. It is a well known and terribly sad fact that it is very easy to fall in love with brilliant gay men, only to have to resign to the fact that they could only ever love you as a friend. 
  • Dora also had the tendency to fall in love with the same men as Scrachey. How frustrating!! However, it wasn’t all bad. She married one of Scrachey’s lovers, Ralph Partridge, and the three of them lived together in a hot tangle of bohemian limbs. The tortured hotty certainly endured a lot of emotional crap but at least she had access to the loins of two very fine and passionate men.
  • She eventually embarked on an intense affair with writer Gerald Brenan. They enjoyed a lot of love making, but it was painful for both of them, particularly Gerald who fell for Dora and was most hurt by her Ménage à trois, and eventually it ended.
  • She then fell for one of Scrachey’s ex lovers, Henrietta Bingham, a very striking and wealthy American, with whom she conducted an affair. Later she embarked on an affair with a Parisian model, novelist and former Slade art student Julia Scrachey- who also happened to be Lytton’s niece. It seems Dora thrived on complicated relationships! Both women were total hotties, so, I don’t blame her!
  • Eventually, weeks before her thirty ninth birthday, Dora shot herself. Lytton had died of stomach cancer and it would seem that Dora couldn’t bear life without him. How terribly romantic and deeply tragic.
  • Carrington was played by Emma Thompson in a film about her life. Emma Thompson is such a special sort of hotty, who is seductive because of her superior talent as well as her prescence on stage and screen, which seems to reflect the unique appeal of Dora.

-Georgia

25 Notes

Hotty from History #26-   Giacomo Girolamo Casanova de Seingalt (April 2, 1725 – June 4, 1798) Why he qualifies (and so spectacularly!) He was a suprisingly studious hotty, and studied moral philosophy, chemistry, and mathematics, as well as being keenly interested in medicine. However, he wasn’t a total swot whilst at University (which he attended from the age of 12-17!)- he also got into gambling and generated a lot of debt. This seems to be a habit of hotties…general debauchery and naughtiness. Casanova’s first proper sexual experience was a threesome with two sisters. Okay…so there is something incredibly weird about that, but also, impressive! Lucky Casanova managed to tick off one of the most popular modern sexual fantasies before it was even a fashion. And I imagine Nanetta and Maria Savorgnan were probably hotter than The Veronicas. He was a very witty man, which probably helped him to get the large majority of women he bedded into…ahem…bed. One of his most perceptive insights was on love and anger-  ”To reason rightly one must be neither in love nor in anger; for those two passions reduce us to the level of animals; and unfortunately we are never so much inclined to reason as when we are agitated by one or the other of them.” As well as being a superior shag, Casanova also committed a number of political crimes. This shouldn’t be attractive but it basically is…a rebel and a rogue generally manages to set the pulse racing more than a boring old goody two shoes He has been depicted in film form by both David Tennant and Heath Ledger, a delectable Scot and a delicious (but very sadly dead) Australian. Being immortalised on screen by hot modern actors definitely qualifies one as a hotty. Despite having a full name that hardly rolled off the tongue, Casanova is history’s most famous lover. I hereby challenge the contributors (and indeed the followers) of hottiesfromhistory to call out ‘Giacomo Girolamo Casanova de Seingalt!!’ next time they achieve an orgasm, in honour of our 26th hotty.  -Georgia

Hotty from History #26-   Giacomo Girolamo Casanova de Seingalt (April 2, 1725 – June 4, 1798)

Why he qualifies (and so spectacularly!)

  • He was a suprisingly studious hotty, and studied moral philosophy, chemistry, and mathematics, as well as being keenly interested in medicine. However, he wasn’t a total swot whilst at University (which he attended from the age of 12-17!)- he also got into gambling and generated a lot of debt. This seems to be a habit of hotties…general debauchery and naughtiness.
  • Casanova’s first proper sexual experience was a threesome with two sisters. Okay…so there is something incredibly weird about that, but also, impressive! Lucky Casanova managed to tick off one of the most popular modern sexual fantasies before it was even a fashion. And I imagine Nanetta and Maria Savorgnan were probably hotter than The Veronicas.
  • He was a very witty man, which probably helped him to get the large majority of women he bedded into…ahem…bed. One of his most perceptive insights was on love and anger-

 ”To reason rightly one must be neither in love nor in anger; for those two passions reduce us to the level of animals; and unfortunately we are never so much inclined to reason as when we are agitated by one or the other of them.”

  • As well as being a superior shag, Casanova also committed a number of political crimes. This shouldn’t be attractive but it basically is…a rebel and a rogue generally manages to set the pulse racing more than a boring old goody two shoes
  • He has been depicted in film form by both David Tennant and Heath Ledger, a delectable Scot and a delicious (but very sadly dead) Australian. Being immortalised on screen by hot modern actors definitely qualifies one as a hotty.
  • Despite having a full name that hardly rolled off the tongue, Casanova is history’s most famous lover. I hereby challenge the contributors (and indeed the followers) of hottiesfromhistory to call out ‘Giacomo Girolamo Casanova de Seingalt!!’ next time they achieve an orgasm, in honour of our 26th hotty. 

-Georgia

32 Notes

Hotty from History #25 Zelda Fitzgerald Zelda Sayre Fitzgerald (July 24, 1900 – March 10, 1948) Zelda is best known as the wife of author F. Scott Fitzgerald BUT she was an absolute hotty in her own way! She once said “I don’t want to live- I want to love first, and live incidentally. ” She was a talented lady full to the brim with passion, and passion is generally a hotty attribute. She was an icon of the 1920s. Being an icon of any era is a pretty exciting feat, but being an icon of the 1920s is particularly hot because the 20s were so deliciously full of scandal, jazz and sex. After the First World War, Zelda moved from America to Europe, along with other famous artists who would make up the so called ‘Lost Generation’. Whilst there her and her alcoholic husband enjoyed a marriage of jealousy and resentment: Zelda once through herself down a flight of marble stairs because Scott was flirting with Isadora Duncan. That must have been an exciting party. Zelda, possibly looking for an outreach for all the repressed passion she had stirring inside her, became obsessed by the idea of being a ballerina. She practised endlessly and to exhaustion. This is of course very sad, but also incredibly beautiful, romantic and poetic. And besides..she looked a hotty in a leotard. Zelda was eventually diagnosed with schizophrenia and sent to a Sanatorium at the age of 30. Whilst there Zelda wrote an incredibly poorly recieved novel called Save Me the Waltz. F. Scott is reported to have told her whilst visiting her in the sanatorium that she was a “third rate writer and a third rate ballet dancer”. A little harsh, there, Scott. Well, little did Scott know that decades later Zelda would be portrayed by Keira Knightley in a film about their marriage. And who will Scott be played by? That hasn’t even been decided yet. Zelda is the real hotty here!! She eventually burnt to death in a fire at the age of 48. Okay, so that in itself is terribly tragic, but also…sounds exciting. And again, very poetic. Makes for a good film. That’s always a good sign of a hotty: that their life would translate into a very good film. She was a feminist icon in the 70s because of the repressive nature of her marriage to F. Scott Fitzgerald. Being an icon of the Jazz age and later an icon of Women’s Lib is pretty awesome. And being a HOT icon of feminism? Even better! -Georgia

Hotty from History #25 Zelda Fitzgerald Zelda Sayre Fitzgerald (July 24, 1900 – March 10, 1948)

  • Zelda is best known as the wife of author F. Scott Fitzgerald BUT she was an absolute hotty in her own way! She once said “I don’t want to live- I want to love first, and live incidentally. ” She was a talented lady full to the brim with passion, and passion is generally a hotty attribute.
  • She was an icon of the 1920s. Being an icon of any era is a pretty exciting feat, but being an icon of the 1920s is particularly hot because the 20s were so deliciously full of scandal, jazz and sex.
  • After the First World War, Zelda moved from America to Europe, along with other famous artists who would make up the so called ‘Lost Generation’. Whilst there her and her alcoholic husband enjoyed a marriage of jealousy and resentment: Zelda once through herself down a flight of marble stairs because Scott was flirting with Isadora Duncan. That must have been an exciting party.
  • Zelda, possibly looking for an outreach for all the repressed passion she had stirring inside her, became obsessed by the idea of being a ballerina. She practised endlessly and to exhaustion. This is of course very sad, but also incredibly beautiful, romantic and poetic. And besides..she looked a hotty in a leotard.
  • Zelda was eventually diagnosed with schizophrenia and sent to a Sanatorium at the age of 30. Whilst there Zelda wrote an incredibly poorly recieved novel called Save Me the Waltz. F. Scott is reported to have told her whilst visiting her in the sanatorium that she was a “third rate writer and a third rate ballet dancer”. A little harsh, there, Scott. Well, little did Scott know that decades later Zelda would be portrayed by Keira Knightley in a film about their marriage. And who will Scott be played by? That hasn’t even been decided yet. Zelda is the real hotty here!!
  • She eventually burnt to death in a fire at the age of 48. Okay, so that in itself is terribly tragic, but also…sounds exciting. And again, very poetic. Makes for a good film. That’s always a good sign of a hotty: that their life would translate into a very good film.
  • She was a feminist icon in the 70s because of the repressive nature of her marriage to F. Scott Fitzgerald. Being an icon of the Jazz age and later an icon of Women’s Lib is pretty awesome. And being a HOT icon of feminism? Even better!

-Georgia

41 Notes

Hotty from History #24 - Sir Walter Raleigh During my revision for my impending A-Level History exam, I have come to the conclusion that the Tudors was not the best era for hotties. I struggled whilst rifling through my numerous books to find a hotty, yet everyone looks pretty dowdy in their portraits; and i was tempted to post Elizabeth I, yet it seemed like she had a slight case of vagina dentata. Yes! Walter Raleigh! The reverse to everything I said before. He certainly does not look dowdy, and it seems very, very, very unlikely that he has vagina dentata. Instead he was an accomplished sailor (mmm sailors), poet and explorer, who was also probably one of the few men who ever managed to paddle with Elizabeth I. If you know what I mean. Tom

Hotty from History #24 - Sir Walter Raleigh

During my revision for my impending A-Level History exam, I have come to the conclusion that the Tudors was not the best era for hotties. I struggled whilst rifling through my numerous books to find a hotty, yet everyone looks pretty dowdy in their portraits; and i was tempted to post Elizabeth I, yet it seemed like she had a slight case of vagina dentata.

Yes! Walter Raleigh! The reverse to everything I said before. He certainly does not look dowdy, and it seems very, very, very unlikely that he has vagina dentata. Instead he was an accomplished sailor (mmm sailors), poet and explorer, who was also probably one of the few men who ever managed to paddle with Elizabeth I. If you know what I mean.

Tom

21 Notes

Hotty from History #23- Evelyn Waugh (28 October 1903 – 10 April 1966) When he was at Hertford college, Oxford, Waugh would rarely be seen without a snifter of brandy or a flute of champagne. When asked if he did anything for his college, he replied “I drink.” Followers should be reminded that at the time Waugh was at University, binge drinking was not such a fashion and was reserved for bohemian intellectuals and those from the titillating twenties that put the ‘art’ into party. Before worming his way into the Literary world, Waugh did not make much of a success of himself. He left Oxford without a degree and was fired from a job for seducing the matron. Lucky her.  He tried to remove Salvador Dali’s moustache, thinking it was joke. In the modern day, this is probably equivalent to removing Karl Lagerfeld’s sunglasses. He was fluid with is sexuality, and had a number of relationships with men during his youth. His older brother Alec was actually kicked out of school for publishing a novel, The Loom of Youth (during his school years!), which focused on gay relationships. The Waugh’s are idols for artists everywhere who have discovered their sexuality and struggled to be open about it in the art world, and we admire him for his ability to survive the hideous levels of homophobia that were rife at that time. He had seven children. As we all know, men become about five times hotter when they are holding a baby. Also…seven children? That’s a hell of a lot of loin fruit. Evelyn Waugh’s loins…we salute you.  Waugh’s work was summarised by Time magazine as “a wickedly hilarious yet fundamentally religious assault on a century that, in his opinion, had ripped up the nourishing taproot of tradition and let wither all the dear things of the world.” So yes, Waugh was a big snob, but in the best possible way. It was Waugh that mourned the loss of the cucumber sandwich laid out on willow pattern plates, the hereditary and compulsory British taste for tea and the careful mannerisms which non Brits usually refer to as ‘uptight’ but this blogger believes is simply a reflection of our unique discerning qualities. Thanks to the TV adaptation of his novel, Brideshead Revisited, we all got to see Jeremy Irons involved in homo erotica and being artfully semi naked in various idyllic situations. Waugh’s brilliant literary legacy+Jeremy Irons semi naked= happy hottiesfromhistory bloggers. -Georgia

Hotty from History #23- Evelyn Waugh (28 October 1903 – 10 April 1966)

  • When he was at Hertford college, Oxford, Waugh would rarely be seen without a snifter of brandy or a flute of champagne. When asked if he did anything for his college, he replied “I drink.” Followers should be reminded that at the time Waugh was at University, binge drinking was not such a fashion and was reserved for bohemian intellectuals and those from the titillating twenties that put the ‘art’ into party.
  • Before worming his way into the Literary world, Waugh did not make much of a success of himself. He left Oxford without a degree and was fired from a job for seducing the matron. Lucky her. 
  • He tried to remove Salvador Dali’s moustache, thinking it was joke. In the modern day, this is probably equivalent to removing Karl Lagerfeld’s sunglasses.
  • He was fluid with is sexuality, and had a number of relationships with men during his youth. His older brother Alec was actually kicked out of school for publishing a novel, The Loom of Youth (during his school years!), which focused on gay relationships. The Waugh’s are idols for artists everywhere who have discovered their sexuality and struggled to be open about it in the art world, and we admire him for his ability to survive the hideous levels of homophobia that were rife at that time.
  • He had seven children. As we all know, men become about five times hotter when they are holding a baby. Also…seven children? That’s a hell of a lot of loin fruit. Evelyn Waugh’s loins…we salute you. 
  • Waugh’s work was summarised by Time magazine as “a wickedly hilarious yet fundamentally religious assault on a century that, in his opinion, had ripped up the nourishing taproot of tradition and let wither all the dear things of the world.” So yes, Waugh was a big snob, but in the best possible way. It was Waugh that mourned the loss of the cucumber sandwich laid out on willow pattern plates, the hereditary and compulsory British taste for tea and the careful mannerisms which non Brits usually refer to as ‘uptight’ but this blogger believes is simply a reflection of our unique discerning qualities.
  • Thanks to the TV adaptation of his novel, Brideshead Revisited, we all got to see Jeremy Irons involved in homo erotica and being artfully semi naked in various idyllic situations.
  • Waugh’s brilliant literary legacy+Jeremy Irons semi naked= happy hottiesfromhistory bloggers.

-Georgia

109 Notes

Hotty from History #22 Alice de Janzé, née Silverthorne (28 September 1899 – 30 September 1941) She was one of the most prominent American socialites of her time. Whilst most of the American Heiress set were busy dancing the charlston and sniffing smelling salts, our Alice was setting the bar for Merry Murderesses everywhere… She slept around, did Alice. This obviously isn’t the hallmark of a hotty, but when you are as dashing as she was, it’s plain to say that everyone who got to go to bed with her had a good time. It was probably only once they’d been shot that they started having post copulatory regrets. In the 20s, she found herself in the infamous Happy Valley set made up of white expats in Africa. Here she indulged in copious amounts of drugs, sex, and Jazz. We at hottiesfromhistory do not promote hedonism but we certainly think that it seems like a highly enviable hotty lifestyle when considered from chronilogically afar. She shot both her lover and herself in a Paris railway station, but both survived. She got away with a small fine and later wed her unfortunate lover…and soon after that divorced him. She was then accused of the murder of another ex lover, Lord Erroll. Luckily for her, she had a very believable alibi: that she had been enjoying an amourous evening with another Happy Valley resident. However, there is widespread evidence that she may well have done it, including a letter written in her own hand confessing to the murder. She was also heard to say, after kissing the dead Erroll’s lips in the mortuary, “Now you are mine forever”. Yes, incredibly creepy and a bit disgusting, but nontheless romantic. Followers should be reminded that people from history who were hot are automatically excused from being sociopathic homocidal maniacs. She commited suicide and her motivation for shooting herself this time is said to be because she was depressed about losing her youth and beauty. She did it two days after her 42nd birthday, having ticked just about all the hottiesfromhistory boxes through the space of her short life. She asked her friends to throw a cocktail party on her grave. That is surely just about the most wonderful thing this blogger has ever heard of. When I die, please come en masse to Britain and crack out the Bollinger and the Absinthe. Historical fancy dress an absolute necessity. -Georgia

Hotty from History #22 Alice de Janzé, née Silverthorne (28 September 1899 – 30 September 1941)

  • She was one of the most prominent American socialites of her time. Whilst most of the American Heiress set were busy dancing the charlston and sniffing smelling salts, our Alice was setting the bar for Merry Murderesses everywhere…
  • She slept around, did Alice. This obviously isn’t the hallmark of a hotty, but when you are as dashing as she was, it’s plain to say that everyone who got to go to bed with her had a good time. It was probably only once they’d been shot that they started having post copulatory regrets.
  • In the 20s, she found herself in the infamous Happy Valley set made up of white expats in Africa. Here she indulged in copious amounts of drugs, sex, and Jazz. We at hottiesfromhistory do not promote hedonism but we certainly think that it seems like a highly enviable hotty lifestyle when considered from chronilogically afar.
  • She shot both her lover and herself in a Paris railway station, but both survived. She got away with a small fine and later wed her unfortunate lover…and soon after that divorced him.
  • She was then accused of the murder of another ex lover, Lord Erroll. Luckily for her, she had a very believable alibi: that she had been enjoying an amourous evening with another Happy Valley resident. However, there is widespread evidence that she may well have done it, including a letter written in her own hand confessing to the murder. She was also heard to say, after kissing the dead Erroll’s lips in the mortuary, “Now you are mine forever”. Yes, incredibly creepy and a bit disgusting, but nontheless romantic. Followers should be reminded that people from history who were hot are automatically excused from being sociopathic homocidal maniacs.
  • She commited suicide and her motivation for shooting herself this time is said to be because she was depressed about losing her youth and beauty. She did it two days after her 42nd birthday, having ticked just about all the hottiesfromhistory boxes through the space of her short life.
  • She asked her friends to throw a cocktail party on her grave. That is surely just about the most wonderful thing this blogger has ever heard of. When I die, please come en masse to Britain and crack out the Bollinger and the Absinthe. Historical fancy dress an absolute necessity.

-Georgia

37 Notes